i slowed down

somewhere, somehow i slowed down
i stopped running
i'm going now at a light, happy jog (or something)
it's weird how the easier, light jog is less fulfilling
the jog seemed to be happier, but it just isn't...
running was.
running was exhausting, hard, and made me a bit crazy
but it was fulfillng.
what changed?
not the length of my quiet times nor the amount i read
not the amount i serve nor the amount of distractions
it was something else that changed
i think it was my heart.
i think i harden my heart really easily.
if i don't watch it, it will harden and then re-harden everyday.
and it's an everyday thing.
everyday it must be broken.
it needs to be tender so God can use me,
so that God can love through me.
i must soften to hear His voice and then obey.
i must invite God to break my heart daily.
Won't you come break it today, God?