two roads, one traveler

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
and sorry I could not travel both,
and be one traveler, long I stood,
and looked down as far as I could
to where it bent in the undergrowth." (Robert Frost)

Choices....ah, choices
choices keep me up at night
choices keep my focus

I've realized that you choose what you do and love
you can make up your mind about what you love
you can choose who you love
you can choose what you love
it's a matter of deciding to love someone

now i must decide
to love or not to love
to love without giving man my heart,
is that possible?

Loving God is a choice, a choice made daily.
It's not something we can do solely on emotion.
We have to choose love whether we want it, or not.

"Let me be in love with what You love
Let me be most satisfied in You
Forsaking what this world has offered me
I choose to be in love with You
I will choose to be in love with You" (Christy Nockels)

You cannot choose two.
Two roads, one traveler
"and be one traveler, long I stood"
That's where I am.
Looking down the two paths.
I must choose one.
Make up my mind for only one.
I must choose the one, good thing.

"Only a few things are important, even just one. Mary has chosen the good thing. It will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:42

afraid but playing anyways

"Never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game"

Peter the Passionate:
Peter is perhaps my favorite disciple
He was passionate, I identify with that
One minute, he is slicing an ear to protect his Savior
The next minute, he is saying he never knew Him
We all remember Peter as one who messed up big time
But he also made up for it big time
He played big, he made risky moves
He lived life on the edge

It's so reassuring to know someone who I feel is as passionate and bipolar as me, could really follow Christ. He really made a difference. I feel like one minute I'm hot and the next, I could be cold. I'm so motivated by fear. If I am too afraid of the outcome, I won't go through with it. If I find the whole thing altogether overwhelming, then I drop out. Fear cannot motivate me. We must play big, in order to win big. In order to gain anything, we must risk everything. We must live passionate lives that aren't motivated by fear.

All the things worth having require a risk.
All the lives worth living demand that we take risks.

amateur juggling

I got so many balls up in the air.
Should i have this many?
I don't know, but i just keep juggling.
If i let one fall, will they all fall?
So i keep juggling.
Fear motivates me.
Fear of everything falling out from under me.
Should i add another ball?
Everyday, i could add more if i'm not careful.
Careful, that's what i got to be.
A poser, that's what i feel like.
Can they tell how i'm struggling?
Can they tell how amateur i am at this?
I think if i keep this up, one day, just one day, i'll go pro.

"For this people's heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes.
Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them." Matthew 13:15

"The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, Because the LORD has anointed me To bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to captives And freedom to prisoners" Isaiah 61:1



Thank you for healing my heart, making it new.

the heart of the matter

My heart is so filthy.
I took it and rolled it in the mud,
covering it, hiding its true glory.
I ran it through thorn bushes,
scratching it, taking away its wholeness.
Even worse, I took it and smashed it against a wall,
in pieces, its broken and scattered.

Childishly, I took scotch tape and tried to make it whole,
I'm such a fool.
I cannot make my heart whole.
I cannot remove the nasty and scratches and bruises.
It's not my place.

God only asks for your heart.
So haphazardly, I tried to clean it up,
to make it look presentable,
before presenting it the Holy, Divine CREATOR
...like He doesn't see right through my attempts.

How could He want my heart?
I've messed it up so immensely.
How could I ask Him to dwell there?,
Where I've stored up the lies I've believed of Satan,
Where I've given so much away carelessly,
Where I've been so wreckless,
Where I've stored up muck and filth and lies!

But He does.
He wants it.
He wants to dwell there.
He wants to restore, heal, and caress.
He wants to go beneath the lies, and show the glory of your heart.
He wants to make your heart the wellspring of His life.
He wants your heart.